How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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