Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
