At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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