im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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