therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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