i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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