A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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