can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
