You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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