everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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