defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i came on her dog
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
