we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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