you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
