I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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