Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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