i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
