So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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