Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
