So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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