it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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