yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize