I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
where am i from again
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
