He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize