Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
