I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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