I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
