guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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