Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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