I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize