She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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