I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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