He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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