this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
