Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
being pregnant is like rehab
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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