I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
