I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
