I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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