In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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