matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's just like the Real World with babies
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
