i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
