Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We left the knife in your bed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
