I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Help. Why am I so naked?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize