We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
