Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
