And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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