I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Damn victory sex feels great
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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