i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
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I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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