i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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