Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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