so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
