Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
