my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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