They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
