2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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