I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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