Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
