my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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