Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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