I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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