i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
