We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
