Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
