so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
